2day didnt train at all..
well..
jz a lil bit..
shot finals..
was horrible..
coach scolded miie in front of everybody..
i felt rly useless..
after so long,
i jz cant do it rite...
i suddenly feel n tot..
y m i always goin down thr 4?..
y do i care so much?..
y cant i do such a simple thing rite?.....
hw much i wan to do it...
but i jz cant...
when waiting for my parents to come..
she suddenly called every1 for summary..
MJC ppl,
some xinmin..
n some others..
as predicted..
she lectured bout miie...
i felt the tears well up in my eyes so heavily...
i controlled them frm falling..
finally my parents came..
n i left immediately...
crying my way out...
i tot to myself...
all my tears...
for shooting...
y....................
i wan to giv it all up....
i wan to stop...
but i dun hav the courage to...
i wondered...
wat would i become like...
if i'm bad...
nvr study..
always go out..
start smoking...
dun go sch...
join gangs...
mayb tis is one of the reasons y ppl turn bad?...
i dunno...
but i'm tempted nw...
i've tried being perfect..
like being on gd terms with every1..
controlled my temper cuz i noe i'm very very short tempered...
get gd grades..
rly put an effort into training..
do my best in everything i do....
i rly do...
but..
life is hard..
life sucks...
hw i hate my mum for giving birth to miie...
come to think of it..
my dad didnt even wanted miie...
n i still rmbed alot of my aunts telling miie tt he wanted to kill miie....
i hate my life...
i rly rly do...
i cant do anything rite...
i make every1 unhappy...
i dun mean anything in anyone's life..
i'm better off dead...